Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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