I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
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