He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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