So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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