I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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