Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize