So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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