I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
