hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Randomize
