News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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