What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
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