I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I am one with the molecules
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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