Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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