I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
