Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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