There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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