She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
