Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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