I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
