To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Randomize
