Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
