I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
