Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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