Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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