I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I CAN MOONWALK!
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
