Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
i've created a new STD.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
