so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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