so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
you never un-have a 4some
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
