The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
