so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
