i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
