new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Rumble strips road head = magical
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
We don't watch enough power rangers
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
