oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Shitshow foam night was such a success
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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