I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
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