so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
