gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
