She's JV to your varsity
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
