my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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