whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
My vagina is very pro this idea
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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