he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
