Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
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