your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I just gift wrapped bread.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
