She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
You are a genius and a whore.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
