Quick, to the slutcave!
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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