Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
All the doctor said was why
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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