There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
