I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize