Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
You dont lie about slip and slides
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
