The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
