I cockslap morals
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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