his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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