he thought i was a dude.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
