I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
