i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
