i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
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