it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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