If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
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