I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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