Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
