he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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