idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
