How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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