I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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