We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
