The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
