When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
