we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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