Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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